Kissing expresses and intensifies sexual feeling. Boys will experience a hardening of the penis, girls will become wet. The heart beats faster and breathing will quicken. You feel a warm glow all through your body: you are getting 'hot'.

It is wonderful to keep this state of pleasure going for a while. Keep up the quality of your kissing by not losing yourself altogether, so don't forget to breathe or to swallow. Keep or move your partner and yourself in comfortable positions, so that arms or necks do not become strained.

As experience grows, so does your repertoire. Kisses will go anywhere. Ear kisses are very exciting, as long as they are very light touches of the tongue tip against the inside of the ear shell.

Do not go in deeply and take care to hold your breath or breathe very very lightly, otherwise it will hurt. A whisper into the ear is very stimulating indeed. Lots of different kisses can be distinguished:

• underwater kisses are very suitable for beginning swimmers at play
• musical kisses are rhythmic dances of the tongue in the half dark
• counterkisses are different responses, wet against dry, quick agains slow
• exchange kisses swap drink or food (icecream, a strand of spaghetti).

Kissing gives pleasure in itself and can be all that you do, for a time at least.

There comes a moment, if not now then later, when the lips kiss half open and the tongues touch. This is sometimes called French kissing, not because the French invented it but because people used to think it very naughty or even dirty and disgusting. For the same reason, a condom was called a French letter and oral sex is still called 'French'.

The tongue kiss is another heartstopping event when you first experience it. When the tongues touch each other, it is again important to let them move gently and, you might say, curiously, exploring the other tongue, playing around it, withdrawing and approaching, like a slow dance.

So do not force your tongue into the other mouth, or allow the other tongue to fill yours without response. Very important also is to keep your teeth from touching the other's teeth. One of the most typical put-downers in kissing is when people forget themselves in what they think is a passionate embrace and hit each other's teeth hard and painfully.

For this reason it is also handy to remove spectacles before tongue kissing starts. Taking off glasses gently can be a great introduction to kissing anyway.

The most important characteristic of good kissing -of good lovemaking in general- is gentleness and attention.

Touch your partner with your hands on the hair or face and look them in the eye. As you approach with your lips do not be too hasty, but check the response. If your partner is willing, they show it by moving their lips in your direction. When the lips touch, keep them relaxed, but not too much. Lips should be neither tight or pinched nor limp or flabby.

The touch of loving lips is an exquisite experience and should be savoured. Let your partner feel the pleasure you feel. You can close your eyes (you naturally tend to do that anyway), but it can be a pretty good idea to open them at least a little now and then.

Half open eyes show that you are enjoying the intimacy and are communicating that enjoyment. Kissing is best when you are giving as well as receiving pleasure and are both aware of that.

Initial kisses are gentle and attentive, so the pressure of your lips is at first featherlight. Repeat these kisses for a while, explore the lips with your lips and very lightly with the tip of your tongue. Feel the response of the other lips, do they open up or remain closed?

That is important for taking the next step. If the other's lips remain closed, while they still enjoy the kissing, refrain from going any further. Do not force anything, do not worm your tonue between the other's lips, do not open you mouth all wide and wet in passionate and swooning surrender.

For most of us the first sexual kiss is a great event, full of strange and exciting emotion. Many people remember when and where and how they had their first kiss. Some were six or seven, others had to wait until after their twenties. Most people have good memories of their first kiss.

Even if they felt clumsy or shy or awkward, the excitement of touching someone else's lips was enough to make them feel on top of the world.

 There are exceptions, of course. Some people remember their first kiss as being without any pleasure or thrill. Some remember having kisses forced upon them against their will. Kissing can be so clumsy and awkward that it gives pain or boredom or irritaion rather than pleasure. The expression for this phenomenon is 'Sweet sixteen and never been kissed, only slobbered over.'

So maybe quite a few young people (and some older ones as well) may benefit from a few lessons in kissing. For it remains a fact that sexual kissing is not on any curriculum. It is not taught at home or in school or in mail courses.

Kissing is supposed to come naturally and not to need any instruction or help. This is only partly true. Swimming comes naturally, too, yet we need instruction and guidance to do it well and feel confident in the water. And even if you are a natural talent, a perfect kisser, you may find that your partner is not so good at it, and can use a little instruction.

You can kiss anywhere and at any time, but experience teaches that in the beginning a quiet and safe place works best. So that may be your room, provided there is no chance of intrusion, or a secluded place in the country or by the sea.

The city, too, offers places of seclusion in the daytime, such as parks and porticos, but is mostly too crowded. After dark, the city can be a wonderful place for going out, but it is not the best environment for practising the art of kissing.

We don't recommend movies, discos, pubs, department stores, taxis, lavatories, restaurants, buses, pavements or underground trains, for the simple reason that there are too many distractions, noise, and other people. It is better not to kiss intimately in the presence of other people. It makes them feel excluded (they would like to be doing what you are doing) or embarrassed.

Masturbation means to arouse yourself sexually, usually to orgasm. Other expressions for masturbation are 'to jerk off' for males or 'to finger oneself' for females. An old and very negative term is 'self-abuse'.
Another word is onanism.

This word is derived from Onan, a character from the Old Testament who was punished by God because he 'spilled his seed on the ground'. The true reason for Onan's punishment was that he did not want to get his deceased brother's widow pregnant, something he had been ordered to do on the basis of what was customary in those days.

In nineteenth-century Europe the fear of masturbation increased and reached a high point in the early half of the twentieth century. In order to scare off adolescents it was said that masturbation resulted in self-contamination, led to tuberculosis of the spinal cord, and could cause meningitis and insanity.

On top of all that, small devices were invented that 'responsible' parents could tie around a boy's genitals to prevent 'the wickedness' to develop. Some of these devices were equipped with stings or shrewd alarm devices that would cause pain when the boy had an erection and warned the parents.

Also, the clitorises of thousands of young girls who were suspected of masturbation were removed surgically.
It comes as no surprise that all this intimidation reduced the joy of living and led to fear, guilt, and feelings of inferiority and self-contempt. That was the fate of numerous people who could not refrain from masturbation in spite of all the fearful prospects.

Of course, a majority practised it without a great deal of individual suffering: they just kept the practice secret, and felt that at least they were not as bad as the 'real' masturbators who ended up in the law courts or the psychiatrist's consultation room, and were said to be 'obsessed' or 'addicted' because they practised self abuse several times a day or used perverse stimulans like 'obscene' pictures.

Sexologists and educators of the second half of the twentieth century gradually changed the thinking about masturbation. At present the majority agree that masturbation is not harmful, but even rather a healthy sexual activity. Still, many people feel uncomfortable about the practice, do not condone it in young children, priests or married people, and see it as additional evidence in cases where someone is accused of some moral offence.

Research has shown that most people masturbate every now and then. It used to be thought that boys masturbate more often than girls, presumably because they discover their penis at a relatively early age since they pee with it. That is not true. Most people masturbate before they become twelve. This does not mean that someone who starts later is not normal.

Better known as giving head, a blowjob, licking and sucking a male's penis is one of the best liked sexual techniques, which has the great advantage that it cannot cause pregnancy, and also gives the 'giver' an active role to play in love making. Just as with ordinary kissing and with cunnilingus, it is handy to know some basics.

• It is very important to be very careful and gentle doing fellatio, and use plenty of saliva.

• The first time you perform fellatio is probably a bit scary, so prepare for that by familiarizing yourself with his body beforehand. During 'ordinary' sessions you must first feel the penis against your leg or other body part, and then learn to touch the penis with your hand. You must be able to look at it, both when it is small and when it is erected.

• Also you have some practical experience with manual stroking (masturbation) leading to orgasm and ejaculation

• Before fellatio you decide how far you will go. You must be on top. The first few times you practice fellatio it is probably wise to hold the penis, kiss it lightly, watch it grow, and play with your tongue, put your lips over the head of the penis, enclose it in your mouth for just brief moments and hold it away from your mouth when he climaxes, which is just before he ejaculates.

• In fellatio it is a good thing to keep communication going, touch and caress him, exchange signals of pleasure, ask him if you're doing it right. The most sensitive area is under the glans (head), where it is attached to the shaft of the penis with a little muscle called frenulum. Remember to keep plenty of saliva round your tongue and lips, and lick that spot for maximum effect

• Hold the penis by fellatio with your full hand, or with just your thumb and index finger encircling the base, squeezing lightly from time to time to make the penis stand up even harder and grow to maximum size.

• You can observe the excitement in him mounting by the fellatio, since his breathing goes faster, his muscles tense, he may sigh or moan, his testicles rise and the scrotum contracts against the base of the penis.

• If you put your mouth around the glans of the penis, keep your teeth away from the sensitive skin. In fellatio there should be no violent or monotonous blind movement on your part, but conscious, pleasure-giving motion with some variety, just covering the glans and coming up and then coming down all the way as far as you feel comfortable.

• Only by the time he is sufficiently aroused by the fellatio to be on the way to a climax do you continue the movement you are making, stimulating the same area persistently, but of course without causing any pain or discomfort until he reaches the climax and a second later ejaculates, so you have time to move your head aside.

• After sufficient experience with fellatio, under safe conditions, and if you like to try it, you can let him come inside your mouth. You can decide to swallow the semen or hold it in your mouth and then let it flow from your mouth onto his belly or leg. Have a tissue or handkerchief at hand to wipe it away, but it can also be rubbed over his body as part of the love session

• The taste of semen is like oyster without salt, and it's a little sticky, so keep a glass of water at hand if you want to rinse your mouth.

sCunni is Latin for the female genitals and lingus means to lick. Other terms are French tongue, eating pussy, going down on someone. Oral sex has one great advantage: it cannot make you pregnant.

Kissing a girl's gentals can also be a very exciting and satisfactory experience for both. It requires a certain skill, as in ordinary kissing, which means it should not cause irritation or be boring. It is important to use enough saliva on the tongue, to start off very gently and with a lot of sincere attention.

Slow and teasing movements of the tongue across the vagina and around the clitoris and back can be varied with tiny quick flutterings of the tip of the tongue across the clitoris.

You can let your finger play around as well, very gently and with loving care. Do not suddenly penetrate the vagina, do not become mechanical or rough. Pay attention to how she reacts, because it is an indication of how she likes it, and if she is warming up.

If she just lies there, maybe she is not enjoying it very much. Perhaps she is not ready for it, or perhaps she feels isolated. While kissing her genitals, you can still keep in touch by caressing her body, or holding her hands.

You can recognize the signs of an approaching climax, and then it is best not to change your position or technique. For her to reach the climax it is important to get the same intense stimulus for at least half a minute or so.

The clitoris becomes bigger and stiffer as it gets aroused, just like a penis. At a high level of excitement, but before the orgasm, the clitoris retreats. This is not a sign of diminishing interest, on the contrary.

Licking around the clitoris, keeping the tongue and lips very wet, and then concentrating on the same area with a regular and constant rhythm while perhaps playing around very lightly with a finger, will probably bring about her orgasm within a minute.

Normally speaking, an orgasm is very noticeable, because the girl is hot, covered in a thin layer of sweat, often shows a red flush all over her body, moves uncontrollably, moans or gives other vocal signals and then utters a deep explosive sigh as the peak of sexual pleasure washes over her.

You recognize the signs because of your experience with yourself. The orgasm consists of 5-10 contractions of the muscles of the vagina and the anus, which can clearly be felt. Some extra moisture may come out during orgasm. This is sometimes referred to as 'female ejaculation'.