"You can't bore a woman into feeling attracted to you..."

I realize that this may sound like an obvious statement, but judging by the emails that I get week in and week out, maybe it's not as obvious as it might seem to some guys.

In fact, when I think back on my own experiences with women, I am definitely guilty of trying to bore women into feeling attracted to me...

So, what do I mean by this silly sounding statement?

Well, let's start with some ideas that I hear in one form or another all the time.

"I was a perfect gentleman on our date, but she didn't call me back, and I can't reach her..."

"I don't want to use any 'techniques' with women because I feel like that would be 'manipulating' her..."

"I want a girl who will like me for who I am..."

"I give her everything she wants, take her out, buy her things, and I don't understand why she doesn't feel the same way towards me that I feel towards her..."

"She tells me that she only likes me as a friend, then she goes out with these guys who treat her like crap instead of going out with a guy like me that would treat her wonderfully and give her everything she wants..."

And the list goes on and on...

Now, I realize that these statements are actually different from each other, and deal with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them is:

You’re not behaving in a way that is pushing her attraction buttons. In most of these cases, you’re guilty of trying to bore her into feeling attracted to you.

I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn't any "spark"... but he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just because nothing obvious was bad about the date, that this girl should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few more uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see the light).