Well, almost anything (bestiality and experimentation with power tools are two no-nos that spring to mind). "New ideas and information are the lifeblood to keeping a long-term sexual relationship thriving. "Ask yourself questions about what you want to do differently: do you want it dirtier, sweeter, kinkier, more passionate, more often?


Grab a pen, some paper and your partner, and each write down six things you've always dreamt of trying - straddling him in your f**k-me boots for example - and put them in a jar beside your bed. If you both write big and little thrills, you can start off dipping your toe in the water so it's not a huge leap from missionary on Wednesday night to you purring in a Catwoman suit by Saturday. "Don't rush through them, one new practice a month is usually doable for most people.

If you need inspiration, there's a $12 billion-dollar adult entertainment industry out there to inspire an ache between your thighs. Reading erotic fiction is a great shortcut to discovering what gives you a dirty mind. Next time he's on the X-box, spend an hour on wicked words to see what we mean.

And it's a myth that women aren't turned on by visual stimulation: a Stanford University, US, study found that women get massively turned on just two minutes into an erotic flick. Google "porn for women" and you'll see we want a hard-on as much as he does. When you've found something you fancy, write it on a note for the jar, suggesting you play it in the background while he does you from behind (so you can both watch the screen) or re-enact certain positions or ideas from the scene.

Saying the words

Why is it that we can express our need for him to take the garbage out but not what we really want in bed? How do you tell him you want him to dress up like a pirate of the Caribbean? According to sex educator Dr Catherine Hood, timing is everything. "Pick a time when you're both in a good mood, maybe just after you've had sex or on a Saturday morning lie-in. Use ‘I' statements, such as ‘I've always wanted to try tying you to the bed with my scarves', or ‘I would love you to tell me what you're doing to me while you're doing it (AKA talking dirty)'."

Then the focus shifts onto what you want. Using "we" also helps in subtly suggesting new things: "Why don't we have a dirty night in on Thursday? We could try reading out loud from that erotic book I bought..." If you feel nervous about how he may react to your fantasy, reframe it as a dream you had last night. Essentially what you're trying to do is open the lines of communication to find out what you're both really into.

The key to truly satisfying sex is to start asking questions about your partner's fantasies and risqué side. "One of the biggest mistakes you can make is to assume you know everything about your partner's sexuality," says Dr Hood. "I've seen couples who have been together for years and not communicated their true desires, because they're embarrassed or simply assume their partner would never want to try it." Just ask, suggests Dr Morrissey.

"Be upfront about your desires. If there's something you want to experiment with, pick a time and say it. Have an agreement not to shame or belittle each other. If your partner takes the risk of exposing a sexual desire, they are really opening themselves up to you, so treat it with respect."

Get down

You know the drill: kiss, kiss, lick, nibble, tickle, screw. Most of us have the same sex in the same bed at the same time. Fine sometimes, but for the rest of your life? Not so much. A study from the University of Chicago of more than 26,000 men and woman in 29 countries found men the world over are more satisfied with their sex lives than women.

What's going on? "Men are solution focused, they like patterns and certainty and that is the same for sex," Brett McCann from the Australian Society of Sex Educators, Researchers and Therapists explains. "Which means they're happy to stick with what they know works, especially if they know it leads to orgasm - yours and theirs."

The fact is that better sex leads to more sex, and that's good for both of you. Thigh-shaking sex doesn't just mean him spending more time pleasuring you (though that's one part we dig); you should also make the effort to find new erogenous zones on your partner: lick, suck, kiss and gently bite the inside of his biceps, his wrists, backs of his knees or his arse cheeks.

"Simply trying something new will encourage him to try something new," says McCann. It's win-win, and the chances are, if you could do with a new way to get your rocks off, he probably could too.