Kissing expresses and intensifies sexual feeling. Boys will experience a hardening of the penis, girls will become wet. The heart beats faster and breathing will quicken. You feel a warm glow all through your body: you are getting 'hot'.

It is wonderful to keep this state of pleasure going for a while. Keep up the quality of your kissing by not losing yourself altogether, so don't forget to breathe or to swallow. Keep or move your partner and yourself in comfortable positions, so that arms or necks do not become strained.

As experience grows, so does your repertoire. Kisses will go anywhere. Ear kisses are very exciting, as long as they are very light touches of the tongue tip against the inside of the ear shell.

Do not go in deeply and take care to hold your breath or breathe very very lightly, otherwise it will hurt. A whisper into the ear is very stimulating indeed. Lots of different kisses can be distinguished:

• underwater kisses are very suitable for beginning swimmers at play
• musical kisses are rhythmic dances of the tongue in the half dark
• counterkisses are different responses, wet against dry, quick agains slow
• exchange kisses swap drink or food (icecream, a strand of spaghetti).

Kissing gives pleasure in itself and can be all that you do, for a time at least.

There comes a moment, if not now then later, when the lips kiss half open and the tongues touch. This is sometimes called French kissing, not because the French invented it but because people used to think it very naughty or even dirty and disgusting. For the same reason, a condom was called a French letter and oral sex is still called 'French'.

The tongue kiss is another heartstopping event when you first experience it. When the tongues touch each other, it is again important to let them move gently and, you might say, curiously, exploring the other tongue, playing around it, withdrawing and approaching, like a slow dance.

So do not force your tongue into the other mouth, or allow the other tongue to fill yours without response. Very important also is to keep your teeth from touching the other's teeth. One of the most typical put-downers in kissing is when people forget themselves in what they think is a passionate embrace and hit each other's teeth hard and painfully.

For this reason it is also handy to remove spectacles before tongue kissing starts. Taking off glasses gently can be a great introduction to kissing anyway.

The most important characteristic of good kissing -of good lovemaking in general- is gentleness and attention.

Touch your partner with your hands on the hair or face and look them in the eye. As you approach with your lips do not be too hasty, but check the response. If your partner is willing, they show it by moving their lips in your direction. When the lips touch, keep them relaxed, but not too much. Lips should be neither tight or pinched nor limp or flabby.

The touch of loving lips is an exquisite experience and should be savoured. Let your partner feel the pleasure you feel. You can close your eyes (you naturally tend to do that anyway), but it can be a pretty good idea to open them at least a little now and then.

Half open eyes show that you are enjoying the intimacy and are communicating that enjoyment. Kissing is best when you are giving as well as receiving pleasure and are both aware of that.

Initial kisses are gentle and attentive, so the pressure of your lips is at first featherlight. Repeat these kisses for a while, explore the lips with your lips and very lightly with the tip of your tongue. Feel the response of the other lips, do they open up or remain closed?

That is important for taking the next step. If the other's lips remain closed, while they still enjoy the kissing, refrain from going any further. Do not force anything, do not worm your tonue between the other's lips, do not open you mouth all wide and wet in passionate and swooning surrender.

For most of us the first sexual kiss is a great event, full of strange and exciting emotion. Many people remember when and where and how they had their first kiss. Some were six or seven, others had to wait until after their twenties. Most people have good memories of their first kiss.

Even if they felt clumsy or shy or awkward, the excitement of touching someone else's lips was enough to make them feel on top of the world.

 There are exceptions, of course. Some people remember their first kiss as being without any pleasure or thrill. Some remember having kisses forced upon them against their will. Kissing can be so clumsy and awkward that it gives pain or boredom or irritaion rather than pleasure. The expression for this phenomenon is 'Sweet sixteen and never been kissed, only slobbered over.'

So maybe quite a few young people (and some older ones as well) may benefit from a few lessons in kissing. For it remains a fact that sexual kissing is not on any curriculum. It is not taught at home or in school or in mail courses.

Kissing is supposed to come naturally and not to need any instruction or help. This is only partly true. Swimming comes naturally, too, yet we need instruction and guidance to do it well and feel confident in the water. And even if you are a natural talent, a perfect kisser, you may find that your partner is not so good at it, and can use a little instruction.

You can kiss anywhere and at any time, but experience teaches that in the beginning a quiet and safe place works best. So that may be your room, provided there is no chance of intrusion, or a secluded place in the country or by the sea.

The city, too, offers places of seclusion in the daytime, such as parks and porticos, but is mostly too crowded. After dark, the city can be a wonderful place for going out, but it is not the best environment for practising the art of kissing.

We don't recommend movies, discos, pubs, department stores, taxis, lavatories, restaurants, buses, pavements or underground trains, for the simple reason that there are too many distractions, noise, and other people. It is better not to kiss intimately in the presence of other people. It makes them feel excluded (they would like to be doing what you are doing) or embarrassed.

Masturbation means to arouse yourself sexually, usually to orgasm. Other expressions for masturbation are 'to jerk off' for males or 'to finger oneself' for females. An old and very negative term is 'self-abuse'.
Another word is onanism.

This word is derived from Onan, a character from the Old Testament who was punished by God because he 'spilled his seed on the ground'. The true reason for Onan's punishment was that he did not want to get his deceased brother's widow pregnant, something he had been ordered to do on the basis of what was customary in those days.

In nineteenth-century Europe the fear of masturbation increased and reached a high point in the early half of the twentieth century. In order to scare off adolescents it was said that masturbation resulted in self-contamination, led to tuberculosis of the spinal cord, and could cause meningitis and insanity.

On top of all that, small devices were invented that 'responsible' parents could tie around a boy's genitals to prevent 'the wickedness' to develop. Some of these devices were equipped with stings or shrewd alarm devices that would cause pain when the boy had an erection and warned the parents.

Also, the clitorises of thousands of young girls who were suspected of masturbation were removed surgically.
It comes as no surprise that all this intimidation reduced the joy of living and led to fear, guilt, and feelings of inferiority and self-contempt. That was the fate of numerous people who could not refrain from masturbation in spite of all the fearful prospects.

Of course, a majority practised it without a great deal of individual suffering: they just kept the practice secret, and felt that at least they were not as bad as the 'real' masturbators who ended up in the law courts or the psychiatrist's consultation room, and were said to be 'obsessed' or 'addicted' because they practised self abuse several times a day or used perverse stimulans like 'obscene' pictures.

Sexologists and educators of the second half of the twentieth century gradually changed the thinking about masturbation. At present the majority agree that masturbation is not harmful, but even rather a healthy sexual activity. Still, many people feel uncomfortable about the practice, do not condone it in young children, priests or married people, and see it as additional evidence in cases where someone is accused of some moral offence.

Research has shown that most people masturbate every now and then. It used to be thought that boys masturbate more often than girls, presumably because they discover their penis at a relatively early age since they pee with it. That is not true. Most people masturbate before they become twelve. This does not mean that someone who starts later is not normal.

Better known as giving head, a blowjob, licking and sucking a male's penis is one of the best liked sexual techniques, which has the great advantage that it cannot cause pregnancy, and also gives the 'giver' an active role to play in love making. Just as with ordinary kissing and with cunnilingus, it is handy to know some basics.

• It is very important to be very careful and gentle doing fellatio, and use plenty of saliva.

• The first time you perform fellatio is probably a bit scary, so prepare for that by familiarizing yourself with his body beforehand. During 'ordinary' sessions you must first feel the penis against your leg or other body part, and then learn to touch the penis with your hand. You must be able to look at it, both when it is small and when it is erected.

• Also you have some practical experience with manual stroking (masturbation) leading to orgasm and ejaculation

• Before fellatio you decide how far you will go. You must be on top. The first few times you practice fellatio it is probably wise to hold the penis, kiss it lightly, watch it grow, and play with your tongue, put your lips over the head of the penis, enclose it in your mouth for just brief moments and hold it away from your mouth when he climaxes, which is just before he ejaculates.

• In fellatio it is a good thing to keep communication going, touch and caress him, exchange signals of pleasure, ask him if you're doing it right. The most sensitive area is under the glans (head), where it is attached to the shaft of the penis with a little muscle called frenulum. Remember to keep plenty of saliva round your tongue and lips, and lick that spot for maximum effect

• Hold the penis by fellatio with your full hand, or with just your thumb and index finger encircling the base, squeezing lightly from time to time to make the penis stand up even harder and grow to maximum size.

• You can observe the excitement in him mounting by the fellatio, since his breathing goes faster, his muscles tense, he may sigh or moan, his testicles rise and the scrotum contracts against the base of the penis.

• If you put your mouth around the glans of the penis, keep your teeth away from the sensitive skin. In fellatio there should be no violent or monotonous blind movement on your part, but conscious, pleasure-giving motion with some variety, just covering the glans and coming up and then coming down all the way as far as you feel comfortable.

• Only by the time he is sufficiently aroused by the fellatio to be on the way to a climax do you continue the movement you are making, stimulating the same area persistently, but of course without causing any pain or discomfort until he reaches the climax and a second later ejaculates, so you have time to move your head aside.

• After sufficient experience with fellatio, under safe conditions, and if you like to try it, you can let him come inside your mouth. You can decide to swallow the semen or hold it in your mouth and then let it flow from your mouth onto his belly or leg. Have a tissue or handkerchief at hand to wipe it away, but it can also be rubbed over his body as part of the love session

• The taste of semen is like oyster without salt, and it's a little sticky, so keep a glass of water at hand if you want to rinse your mouth.

sCunni is Latin for the female genitals and lingus means to lick. Other terms are French tongue, eating pussy, going down on someone. Oral sex has one great advantage: it cannot make you pregnant.

Kissing a girl's gentals can also be a very exciting and satisfactory experience for both. It requires a certain skill, as in ordinary kissing, which means it should not cause irritation or be boring. It is important to use enough saliva on the tongue, to start off very gently and with a lot of sincere attention.

Slow and teasing movements of the tongue across the vagina and around the clitoris and back can be varied with tiny quick flutterings of the tip of the tongue across the clitoris.

You can let your finger play around as well, very gently and with loving care. Do not suddenly penetrate the vagina, do not become mechanical or rough. Pay attention to how she reacts, because it is an indication of how she likes it, and if she is warming up.

If she just lies there, maybe she is not enjoying it very much. Perhaps she is not ready for it, or perhaps she feels isolated. While kissing her genitals, you can still keep in touch by caressing her body, or holding her hands.

You can recognize the signs of an approaching climax, and then it is best not to change your position or technique. For her to reach the climax it is important to get the same intense stimulus for at least half a minute or so.

The clitoris becomes bigger and stiffer as it gets aroused, just like a penis. At a high level of excitement, but before the orgasm, the clitoris retreats. This is not a sign of diminishing interest, on the contrary.

Licking around the clitoris, keeping the tongue and lips very wet, and then concentrating on the same area with a regular and constant rhythm while perhaps playing around very lightly with a finger, will probably bring about her orgasm within a minute.

Normally speaking, an orgasm is very noticeable, because the girl is hot, covered in a thin layer of sweat, often shows a red flush all over her body, moves uncontrollably, moans or gives other vocal signals and then utters a deep explosive sigh as the peak of sexual pleasure washes over her.

You recognize the signs because of your experience with yourself. The orgasm consists of 5-10 contractions of the muscles of the vagina and the anus, which can clearly be felt. Some extra moisture may come out during orgasm. This is sometimes referred to as 'female ejaculation'.

Great sex without intercourse step:

Touching

Touching the breasts, or other parts that are usually covered, like the abdomen and the buttocks, is the following stage. Again it is important to be gentle and exploratory, not hasty or clumsy.

It may look exciting to see people in movies lose their head completely in a frenzy of passion, but reality is different (by the way, such movie scenes show how little moviemakers know about these things). Always be aware and enjoy what you are doing.

Giving an orgasm

Finally - and this may come after many sessions of enjoyable kissing and petting - you can give the other an orgasm (make him or her come) by touching and stimulating the genitals.

If you are agreed that you don’t need sexual intercourse yet, this is a perfect way to have wonderful sex without any worry about pregnancy or infection.

Masturbating a boy

You can make a boy come with your hand. The first time you hold a penis is very exciting, maybe a little frightening too. But remember, he is very sensitive and vulnerable, so be very gentle and careful.

Don’t start pulling the foreskin back immediately, but just hold it softly, move your fingers a little bit, look at it if you can. The penis is probably already hard and big the first time you touch it, because the boy has become aroused as a result of the kissing and caressing that you have already done.

And if the boy is very excited he takes only a very short time to have an orgasm. His semen will squirt out in three or four small gusts, so be prepared for that. It is a good idea to have some tissues or a handkerchief ready to catch the semen or wipe it away. It is very natural stuff, like the white of an egg, so if it stains clothes or sheets or upholstery, it cleans away easily with some warm water.

Masturbating a girl

You can masturbate a girl by moving your fingers very gently at first across her slit. It is probably be wet from the kissing and petting, otherwise you must wet your finger with saliva. The most sensitive spot is the girl’s clitoris and the area around it.

You must be careful about rubbing it too hard or quickly. Only when you feel that she is getting aroused, can you increase the rhythm of your stroking until she comes. Many girls find it not so easy to have an orgasm this way. They have their own particular technique when they masturbate and it is very difficult for another person to know that without asking.

You can also make her come by kissing and licking her slit. Again it is important to do this very gently at first and show that you enjoy it. She can let you know if you’re doing it right. Of course this oral sex is only safe if you know you cannot be infected.

All in all, you can have great sex without sexual intercourse. This non-penetrative sex is a wonderful way to get to know each other and talk about what you like, or discuss and solve any problem that comes along.

Finally, people with sexual problems are always advised to avoid intercourse for some time. They have to re-learn making love.

• The first stage of sexual attraction is looking at someone, noticing their general appearance (race, age, shape), and their face in particular (lips and eyes), then hearing their voice, noticing how they smile or toss their hair. Some people are attractive to almost everyone, some are the opposite. 

Most people are between these extremes, so there will be a pretty good chance - when they are young - to meet possible sexual partners. It’s sexual desire that makes us go out in search of someone to love. Let’s suppose two people have met and feel attracted to each other.

• Touching is usually the beginning of sexual excitement and intimacy. Every part of us is sensitive to touch, and the feeling we get depends very much on the relationship. If someone is a relative stranger and we are touched for the first time, our sexual excitement is very strong, stronger than when someone is familiar to us. 

The touch of a hand against a hand, the caressing of a face, the lips close to the ear, the movement of a hand over your leg, the soft tickling of a thigh or the massage of neck and shoulders, they can all be exquisite and arousing, so that the heart beats faster, and a feeling of warmth runs through us.
 

• Kissing is the next stage. Our mouths are especially sensitive and the deep kiss, where the mouth opens and the tongues can play together, is usually at the centre of petting. While we kiss, our hands hold the partner and explore their hair and face, back and front. Kissing is important. 

Do it gently and cautiously and playfully at first. Open your eyes, at least occasionally and say that you like it (if you do). Do not slobber or crush and if the other does, teach them. Don’t forget, kissing is not taught in any school and in very few homes, so most people have to go by intuition. Some really do not know how to kiss, and they have to be instructed.

In oral sex, irrumatio is performed by actively thrusting the penis into the mouth of the partner. In slang, this act is called face fucking, throat fucking and skull fucking.

As with fellatio, it may be performed to induce male orgasm and ejaculation of semen. The passive partner may simultaneously be induced to climax if so desired. It can also be used as foreplay prior to vaginal or anal forms of intercourse.

However, the passive partner might experience certain difficulties compared to less-aggressive fellatio, such as feeling as if they are abused, boredom, uncomforting reflexes, coughing up saliva, vomiting, being unable to breathe, etc.

One method for the passive partner to overcome such difficulties is using the so-called stopper technique by wrapping one hand around the lower shaft of the penis thus being able to control its movement. Irrumatio can take place in a variety of positions.

Possible positions:
The passive partner with the back on the bed with the head tilted over the edge or the passive partner kneeling in front of the active partner.
Fellatio and irrumatio can be used interchangeably during oral sex. Indeed the distinction between fellatio and irrumatio has vanished in modern English and the latter term has fallen out of widespread use.

According to Maggie Paley's argument in her work, The Book of the Penis, some receivers regard receiving oral sex as an ego boost, believing that such an act is a form of dominance over their sexual partner because of the overt submissive nature of the act; the giver may often be on their knees before the receiver to perform the act of pleasure.

As the Roman conception of the act also indicates, this is more so for irrumatio than fellatio in oral sex, as the male partner is dominant in action and the act of deep throating is easier.

Irrumatio, also called irrumation, is a type of sexual intercourse performed by actively thrusting one's penis into a partner's mouth and throat. It may also be the thrusting of the penis between the legs, feet, upper thighs (also known as interfemoral sex), or between the abdomens of two partners.

"Latin erotic terminology actually distinguishes two acts ... First, fellation, in which the man’s penis is ... orally excited by ... the ... fellatrix ..., [and] Second, irrumation ... in which the man (the irrumator) ... engages in ... motions by moving his hips and body in a rhythm of his own choice."

The English noun irrumatio or irrumation and verb irrumate come from the Latin irrumare, to force one to perform fellatio. Also note that J. L. Butrica, in his review of R. W. Hooper's edition of The Priapus Poems,a co rpus of poems known as Priapeia in Latin, states that "some Roman sexual practices, like irrumatio, lack simple English equivalents."

As the quotation from Butrica suggests, and an article by W. A. Krenkel shows, irrumatio was a widespread sexual practice in the Roman Empire. J. N. Adams states that "it was a standard joke to speak of irrumatio as a means of silencing someone".

Oral sex of any kind was considered to be an act of defilement: the mouth had a particularly defined role as the organ of oratory, as in Greece, to participate in the central public sphere, where discursive powers were of great importance. Thus, to penetrate the mouth could be taken to be a sign of massive power differential within a relationship.

Remaining frescos from the Roman city of Pompeii demonstrate that irrumatio was one of the specific Roman sexual acts, the others being fututio, fellatio, pedicatio and cunnilingus. This was probably because the extant frescos appear to be in bathhouses and brothels: oral sex was something usually practiced with prostitutes because of their lowly status.

Pedicatio and Irrumatio are referenced in Catullus 16. Still, C. A. Williams argues that it was accepted as a degrading act, even more so than anal sex. S. Tarkovsky states that despite being popular, it was thought to be a hostile act, "taken directly from the Greek, whereby the Greek men would have to force the fellatio by violence".

Furthermore as A. Richlin has shown in an article in the Journal of the History of Sexuality it was also accepted as "oral rape", a punitive act against homosexuality. Roman historian Suetonius has a passage in his De Vita Caesarum which inconclusively states that Roman emperor Tiberius took great pleasure from forcing women, even those of rank, to perform fellatio.

Breast fetishism (also known as: mastofact, breast partialism, or mazophilia) is a type of sexual fetish which involves a sexual interest in female breasts.

Debate exists on whether the modern widespread sexual attraction to breasts among heterosexual males of western society constitutes a sexual fetish.


In clinical literature of the 19th century, the focus on breasts was considered a form of paraphillia; but in modern times this interest is considered normal except when the interest overshadows the relationship with the partner.

The clothing rituals of tight clothing and the display of cleavage have been attributed to breast fetishism in males. The phrase is also used within ethnographic and feminist contexts to describe a society with a culture devoted to breasts, usually as sexual objects.

Feminists have argued that examples of breast fetishism have been found going back to the neolithic era, with the goddess shrines of Catal Huyuk (in modern Turkey).

The archaeological excavations of the town in c. 1960 revealed that the walls of the shrine(s) were adorned with disembodied pairs of breasts that appeared to have "an existence of their own".

Elizabeth Gould Davis argues that the breasts (along with phalluses) were revered by the women of Catal Huyuk as instruments of motherhood, but it was after what she describes as a patriarchal revolution – when men had appropriated both phallus worship and "the breast fetish" for themselves – that these organs "acquired the erotic significance with which they are now endowed".

The reverence and theorizing shown to breasts also appears in the science of modern civilization. Breast fetishism is claimed to be an example of a contagious thought (or meme) spreading throughout society, and that breasts are primarily biosemiotic features that have evolved to influence human sexuality rather than serve an exclusive maternal function.