General practice

Aussies are having sex 106 times a year, or roughly twice a week, according to the 2006-2007 Durex Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey. And, if you're in a LTR you'll know that "roughly" is the key word here. It's OK to have ebbs and flows, but too little sex just ain't good for you.

For starters, the health benefits of doing it more often are well documented: you'll look four to seven years younger, improve your immune system, decrease your chances of cancer and heart disease, trim your waistline (burning between 630 to 2100 kilojoules per session) and decrease stress.

Plus the sensation of touch can alleviate depression. And putting it back on the agenda can also keep you from Splitsville. "When two partners are confident, adventurous and secure in themselves and each other, in and out of the bedroom, they develop a sense of deep security through trust and communication, so they feel desired and desirable," says Dr Gabrielle Morrissey, sexologist and author of Spicy Sex.

"And when you're both satisfied and happy with your sex life it means you go out into the world lovers and allies. After all, that's what keeps you both hot for each other." So don't kid yourself it's OK to drop the sex ball permanently.

Shake up the routine

There was a time when you were so hot for each other you'd skip Underbelly and do intriguing things with Mars bars. But it's like any routine: do it enough and you'll learn to use shortcuts. "Couples develop a sexual road map to what turns each other on," explains Dr Morrissey. "But sex can get boring when you make love the same way, over and over."

The good news is you don't have to flip your sexual style 180 degrees. Arndt says that even the act of writing a sex diary started up a sex discussion among the couples who participated in research for her book and that was often the thing that fixed the problem. The trick is to maintain the affection and, yes, the groping outside of the bedroom.

"Every sexual activity is as valuable as penetrative sex - foot massages, hair stroking while watching TV, brushing up against each other in the kitchen all work to fire up the libido," says Dr Morrissey.

And that also means shifting sex (and that doesn't mean just shagging) away from the bedroom, as according to Dr Morrissey, doing it in new places means your body is less likely to follow familiar routines. So if you're having early morning sex in a tent on a camping trip, getting bent over the kitchen bench, or he secretly has his hand in your undies at a dinner party, it's hard to follow set bedroom routines.

Have you ever looked at your friends who have long term partners and wondered why you haven't got that in your life? Do you ever wonder when Mr. or Ms. Right will come along, and what the hold up is? Have you ever thought if perhaps, possibly, you're doing something that could be keeping them at bay?
Conventional dating and online dating in the new millennium is vastly different, thanks to the internet, however still very much similar as it has always been for singles. Take a look at some of the more common mistakes singles make when starting to date new people. Perhaps you're making some of these mistakes?

Lets assess your appearance and personal hygiene?
Take some time to get ready for your date. Clean your teeth. Refresh your breath. When you chat with your date, bad breath will surely be a turn off. SHOWER! Men, be sure to use deodorant. Ladies, don’t go overboard on the makeup or perfume. Select a pleasant looking outfit to wear and be sure it is suitable for the date. You wouldn't wear an Armani suit when on a picnic, and you wouldn't wear ug boots to the opera.
Make sure you are well mannered?

When singles are dating and trying to chat there are fewer turn-offs than a date who piles their dinner into his or her mouth, or even swears. Females who make snide remarks and chat about others during conversation is in pretty poor taste, and male singles who don't hold doors open and other basic courtesies will find themselves getting the cold shoulder at the end of the night. “Please,”, “thanks,” and “excuse me” are important phrases to employ; they show your date that you are a respectful person.

Don't chat constantly, let your date have some breathing space. Exposing your life history in day one? Nattering on regarding esoteric knowledge that may not interest him?
Everyone likes to be listened to. Your date is no exception! Whilst you may think the story of your life to be very fascinating, odds on that generally the first couple of dates, that guy probably isn’t all that interested in hearing every detail of your life in high school. That lovely little women most likely wont share your deep and enduring interest with vintage belt buckles, either. Singles should chat openly and ask and each other light hearted questions. Touch on these subjects, no problem, but don’t harp on them to the exclusion of all else, be sure that your date has ample time to talk, as well. These tips always apply whether you are dating in person, or you are in a private chat via an online dating service.

Make sure you pay attention when she is chatting to you?
“Uh huh,” “yep,” “Oh, right…” - these remarks are a death knell to the start of a friendship. This implies that you’re distracted, not giving full attention to your date’s conversation. No one enjoys being on the sidetracks of someone’s thoughts, especially when they’re dating. LISTEN to him. Make remarks that show you are giving her full attention. “Really, your boss said THAT?” “and, where DID you decide to go?”

If you met through an online dating service, do you really look like that picture you uploaded?
This is a HUGE and frequent error many singles make when using online dating and chat rooms. They upload a photo from five years or fifteen Kilograms ago, or have a studio shot done, and wonder why their date looks let down or shocked when they meet for the first date.
We all want to appear at our very best and present the best possible appearance, however uploading out-dated and unrealistic photos is not the answer. Take or find a few photos that truly represent how you look RIGHT NOW. Don’t just fob off what is actually a work of fiction as fact.

Are you posing? Acting arrogant and conceited?
If you consistently pull that large wad of currency out, chat about your amazing achievements in sport, your job, and life, or take too much time removing that pocket compact to maintain your mascara, you’re going down a wrong track. Many singles dislike a flash date. Try to be a little more modest.

Don't be TOO modest!
No one wants to reassure their date all night. “I honestly hope you think I look okay!,” “I’m such a huge clumsy galah!” and similar are NOT good conversation starters, or serious relationship starters. Show a little self-confidence, however don’t be arrogant and conceited about it. It can be a fine line, often, but not that hard to find.

Not always a good idea to focus on sex too quickly?
Sex is the best way to kill a budding romance. Guys, when you try to bed her too quickly, you're sending her the signal that all she is, is just a convenient body to be enjoyed to satisfy your desire, that you’re not really looking for a long term romance. Ladies, even in this new millennium, jumping into bed too quickly tells men that you’re heaps of fun in the sack, but not the sort of women they want to bring home and introduce to Mum and Dad.

When is the right time to go that extra step? That’s difficult to say, however certainly do not try within the first three to five dates. Allow some time to get to know your dating partner before you move onto sex. If the time is right, you will know. Those singles looking for a quickie, try your luck with adult online dating sites, or the local night club or bar.

Putting it in perspective.
With the first couple of dates, the answer is to allow time getting to know them, while giving him or her enough opportunity to realize who you are, also . Chat, listen, and be respectful. Don't forget that the person you are dating is probably just as nervous as yourself, so try to be forgiving if they make mistakes. They will probably be more likely to dismiss your little errors in return!

A first date should be light-hearted, cheerful, and enjoyable. So keep it pleasant and upbeat, you’re so much more likely to have a return date, and who knows? This first date might be the last first date and the start of something special!