Though this might not be a problem with some but it might pose to be a big problem for many. There is an easy way to do this without it being tough on you or the other person. Follow the following tips.



Don't just offer a generic invitation

'Want to go out with me sometime?' Of course the both of you wanna go out. After all who doesn’t get fed up of monotony! Try avoiding such Rhetorical questions! It makes it really hard for someone to say no. Which you might think is a good thing--but it's not. It sets you up for an evening with someone who doesn't want to be there, who's kicking themselves for not having figured out a way to say no nicely and who might have actually been psyched to date you if only you'd gotten to know them a little first without all the pressure.

Thus DO NOT presume that the other person wants to go out with you. It might just be the other way around hence don't create an awkward situation for you and of course for the other person.

Always ask someone out for a specific thing.

Make it easy on yourself also by making the rendezvous in such a way that you were going to do it anyways. After all natural mannerism always works. Probably because we have seen so many clichés in the world that its only natural for human beings to feel a lot more comfortable to get natural. Like inviting him/her to your house warming party or B'day party or any other party. Another suggestion would be to put all your cards on the table.

Its best if you draw clarity visions before you get to unduly assumptions. Its better to make the most of the situation or else, you might land up making up one. Another good method of invitation would be to invite him/her to some get-together or picnic. This has two benefits; first, you won't be a nervous wreck asking someone out this way.

After all you could be asking them to come along out of friendship. Second, they can say yes, or they can say, 'Sorry, I already have plans, without it being a whole issue. This way you will ensure that you are not embarrassed and also make you know the person a bit more.

Speaking a bit more on this, although it might feel awkward at first to speak to him/her in a crowded place so your initial jitters are also done away with and once you both get used to the noise outside, it would at least help you to get to a more silent zone. Most of the times these zones a re wee bit far away from where you exactly are. So while moving to another seat that time could be utilized to gauge the other’s personality, make yourself a lot more comfortable and also reduce the overall anxiety.

Remember never ask more than once. If the person says no, they say and mean a ‘no’! (Unless they made it clear that they genuinely had a previous commitment and would have been otherwise interested: 'Wow, I love watching Brad Pitt movie and want to be first on your list the next time you get tickets.')

All and all remember given any situation and given any amount of enthusiasm, just go ahead with it, with a firm head on your shoulders. Although this may sound like rocket science at the time of asking, with butterflies roaming around in your stomach; go ahead with some sort of balance.

In Asia, there is no wall dividing sex, dating, marriage and $$-money. Girls are raised in this culture to look at these things together, as one, without the need to separate them out like we do in the west. An attractive girl will likely find a rich husband.

Sexual market value and attractiveness are seen in terms of money. In Asia, this is not seen as a bad thing, or with any judgment. We cannot judge Asian people for mixing love and money so loosely if we are to find happiness here. I prefer to think of it as a more honest and open approach. So don't be surprised if your beloved 'teerak' decides to leave you because you don't have enough money. It is not necessarily that she doesn't love you, just that love and money are not distinguished so clearly here like they are in the west.



The second part of this is to understand that Thai people view westerners as being rich. We will get charged more money for the same services and goods, because the common perception is that we have more money than the Thai people. So even if you are like me, and don't have much money, you will be perceived as rich, and expected to pay and help out, and it is likely, as said before, that a girl might leave you if you don't soon show some ability to generate affluence. I know of situations where the girl was even in love with a guy, but here parents would not allow her to marry him because he did not have enough money or a good job.

Back to rule number one; she will of course listen to and follow her parents first, and 'dump the chump' so to speak in a 'Bangkok second'! It can be a harsh reality here. In this culture you cannot be expecting much success in finding a good wife if you have limited sexual market value (money). That is the cold hard reality. Now we all know of many worthless Thai guys that are 100% supported by the hard working and loyal wife. They spend the days drinking and gambling and whoring, not working, while the wife or girlfriend works to give him money, Strange but quite true. This will not happen with western men. We are farang-foreigners, and as farang are perceived to be rich, a Thai girl would lose face by having a farang boyfriend or husband that was down on his luck so to speak.

Farang are often a status symbol for Thai girls and they are proud to take you back to the village and show you off. Show off the ATM fish they have landed and how they now live the good life. If you cannot play this role and need to pinch every Baht, then your prospects will be limited and short term. In Thailand, it is expected that the man is ready (has $) to have a girlfriend or wife or he shouldn't be trying to date. As I said before, every girl is unique and different. I have had some success with Thai girls while living here while I was dirt poor. They will sometimes be happy to go eat 'street noodles' (15-25 Baht) with you every day, but this is the exception, not the rule and I am sure the parents would not approve and would want their daughter to be dating a man with more money. It is the same situation as in the west or the world for that matter, just a more honest and 'in your face' way of dealing with it.

These two points are the biggies, the short 'must know' list for dating a Thai girl. There are countless other cultural and perceptual differences that can be challenging in day to day life with your teerak (darling), but in my opinion they are less important and generally not 'show stoppers'. In fact, many of these differences you will find to be quite nice. Thai ladies can often be the most attentive and caring mates you will ever meet. In this country, Thai men live like Kings in their house. Thai girls are taught to take care of a man, and groomed from an early age on how to cook, and clean, and fold shirts, and really take care and keep the husband happy.

A few examples I can think of from my previous girlfriends are things like nail clipping or zit popping on your back, or massages. I can't imagine how impossible it would be to get the common American girl to cut your finger and toenails for you, much less pop the zits on your back! I did not know what to say when a former Thai girlfriend started doing these things for me. How many western ladies in this generation actually cook and clean and take of their man? No, they want a maid, or you should cook for them, or take them out to dinner. Not in Thailand, many ladies I have dated were very anxious to show me that they can cook, and when they visit your apartment they will naturally start to clean it up for you and fold your clothes.

I remember a few years ago, walking into the bathroom one morning feeling all groggy from sleep. I walked up to the bathroom sink and started to reach for my toothbrush and noticed it already had toothpaste on it! My teerak had prepared my toothbrush for me so when I woke up it was waiting for me to use. Try to get the common bitchy feminist western girl to do that one. I dare ya! I will stand back a safe distance and watch! No, Thai girls are very smart, they know they will get what they want by being nice, feminine, and taking care of their mans needs.

So I wholeheartedly encourage you to take the plunge and experience what it is like dating a good Thai girl. I would strongly suggest not trying to make a common bargirl into a loyal wife when there are so many nice girls that are dying to meet a good farang man. It is simply not worth the hassle and heartaches, why add more problems to what can already be a challenging situation. So, keep your preconceptions, western ideals, and judgments in check, take a dose of patience, and keep an open mind and I am sure you will not regret it. The ride may be a little bumpy here and there, but it is worth the price of admission.

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1. Love is like chocolate. There's a reason newlyweds can't get enough of each other: Love is a kind of chemical addiction, says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University, who scours MRI bran scans for the secrets of love.

Falling in love activates the "pleasure" centers of the brain and increases production of the feel-good chemical dopamine, which plays a key role in addictions. And eating chocolate affects the same brain regions, which is why it's hard to stop at one piece of candy. How?



A surge of dopamine is part of a chemical cocktail that boosts your mood and energy levels, and sharpens your ability to focus on -- read: obsess about -- your sweetie. Is it possible to feel that rush even after you've been married for years? Absolutely. "Novelty drives up dopamine too," says Fisher. So you can get a boost from trying something new in the bedroom or ordering takeout Thai food instead of your usual pizza.

2. Your nose knows he's the one. Did you just know he was the man for you? Thank your sense of smell. "Women can sniff out a partner who is a good genetic match for having kids," says James V. Kohl, a clinical laboratory scientist and coauthor of "The Scent of Eros: Mysteries of Odor in Human Sexuality." Kohl and other smell researchers have found that women are instinctively drawn to the scent of men who are genetically different from them, which is a good thing.

"If you choose a partner whose genes are too similar to yours, your children are at an increased risk for health problems," he explains. What draws you to one guy over another is his pheromones, unique chemical by-products of hormone production. Women are especially good at detecting pheromones during ovulation, when our sense of smell is strongest. When you like what you smell, your estrogen levels go up, sparking desire.

3. Marriage doesn't make you crazy -- it keeps you sane. Forget the popular image of the married couple driving each other nuts. "Studies show that getting married improves mental health and decreases depression," says Linda Waite, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University of Chicago and coauthor of "The Case for Marriage."

In fact, one study found that people who've never walked down the aisle are more likely to be admitted to a psychiatric facility. "Many women gain a deep satisfaction from the intimacy found in marriage," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University. "That sense of belonging bolsters their sense of self-worth and purpose," enhancing their mental stability.

4. Marriage keeps you healthy, too. Saying "I do" isn't just good for your mind. Married people -- even those in less-than-perfect unions -- are physically healthier than those people who aren't married. They have stronger immune systems, better resistance to viruses such as colds and flus, fewer long-term illnesses and disabilities, fewer hospitalizations, better survival rates for the illnesses they do get, and longer life spans -- by up to eight years! Interestingly, though, when it comes to preventing heart disease and strokes, studies have found that being hitched helps only if your relationship is happy. "Your heart knows whether your marriage is good or not," notes Haltzman.

5. It's better to be hitched than rich. What makes people happiest? Being wealthy helps, but it's a solid marriage that seems to rank highest on the smile scale. According to a Dartmouth study, having a good marriage is equal to the satisfaction gained from earning an extra $100,000 a year. So you really can be rich in love.

According to internet media and market research service Nielsen//NetRatings, more than 1.1 million Australians currently use online dating services in Australia, so it's certainly worth throwing a line in the online pond. Here's how to bait your hook and net a time-poor, desire-rich internet lady.



WINDOW-SHOP

"Hunt around and find a site that suits you," says Shimrit Elisar, author of Everyone's Guide To Online Dating. "Some are set up for single parents, some by location and others by hobby or religion."Another good move is to check out the male-to-female ratio before joining.

"Once you've found a few sites you like the look of, sign up for free trials and get searching," says Elisar. We suggest you don't search for the words "mail", "order" or "bride".

GET A WINGWOMAN

"Browse the profile of women you like and make notes about what they're looking for," says dating coach Peter Heskell. "Then find a female friend or relation you trust and together scan about 20 profile of men around your age and note the mistakes they've made, so you can avoid them."

According to Heskell, the top three mistake men make are choosing an unappealing profile name, sounding too picky and leaving profile sections blank.

CHOOSE GOOD PHOTOS

Post four photos: a head shot, body shot and two action pics that show your personality. If you have a pic of you and your dog, slap it up there. Researchers at St Edward's University in Texas found people are rated more attractive when accompanied by a pet.

WATCH YOUR FINGERS

"Give your spelling a once-over before you hit return," says Jane Hoskyn. "A profile littered with spelling mistakes - or worse, ‘zany' spellings - make you look uneducated." And according to the University of Chicago, good education is a must-have of female internet daters.

"The same goes for profiles full of ‘subtle' sexual references or written all in caps; it's the equivalent of bellowing in her ear." That might work fine in a nightclub, but it doesn't here.

"Lose the ‘honey', ‘sweetie', ‘sugar'," advises Jodie Brittain, CEO of Aussie online dating service . "You hardly know them."

FINDING YOUR MATCH

"When looking at profiles, remember that women will only use photos that are particularly flattering," warns Elisar. "Warning signs are pouty photos, which narrow the face and hype up the cheekbones and anything that appears airbrushed or professionally taken."

To weed out potential bunny boilers, click past anyone whose profile expresses negativity, even if it's about something like a TV show or food.

FIRST CONTACT

Narrow your search results down to 15 winners, then send each a personalised note.

"Don't write generic messages. It doesn't take a genius to realised they're getting spammed," says Elisar.

"Women get more than 10 times as many responses as men on dating sites," says Heskell. "You need to stand out by showing you want to make a connection based on more than just her holiday snaps."

Email about three times a day to build up a rapport. Suggest a date after five to seven days.

THE DATE

"Make sure it's somewhere public," says Elisar. "Don't let the fact that you know her favourite ice-cream flavour blind you to the fact that she's a total stranger.

"Don't have dinner, have a coffee instead, says relationships psychologist Dr Matthew Bambling, of Queensland University of Technology, "The pressure of having to sit through a whole dinner if you realise the person is not what you imagined is not worth it, and you can go your separate ways less awkwardly after a coffee."

THE AFTERMATH

"After fake photos, a woman's biggest complaint is that her e-date doesn't contact her afterwards," says Heskell. "If there was no spark, send a polite email saying you had a great time, but you'd be better as friends."

"If you do like her, send a text of email the next day saying you had a great time and you'd like to see her again, but leave the ball in her court," says Elisar. Use the three message rule (see point 6); you want her to take up your offer, not take out a restraining order.

Take the stress out of dating with our guide to the perfect first date

Even if you consider yourself a hit with the ladies, bagging yourself some alone time with the girl of your dreams can turn even the smoothest lothario into a nervous wreck.


Taking the plunge
You've got her to agree to a bit of one-on-one time, now you need to take the initiative and set the date for your intimate tête-à-tête. "As a bloke, you should always take the lead," . "Suggest a couple of options, but listen to see if she comes up with something better." Give her the chance to choose from your picks - nobody likes a control freak, and she'll be more relaxed if she feels like she's in the driving seat.

The venue
Break the cinema-dinner-drinks cycle by putting some thought into what you want to do together. "A first date should always be fun - do something you're both going to enjoy," . "Roller blading, going to the local funfair and riding on the dodgems, a comedy night out, taking her rock climbing - be creative. The more you have to do, the less pressure there will be on the date." Exercise and laughter both result in increased dopamine levels, which also happens during sexual arousal - get her active and grinning and she'll associate all those warm fuzzy feelings with you.

First date fashion
We're not advocating spending hours trying on every piece of clothing you own, nor should you turn up looking like you've thrown on whatever was least crumpled in your laundry basket. Unless you're dining at the most credit-card-melting restaurant in town, keep it casual - as you'll make her feel more at ease. "Try to wear just one item or accessory that makes you stand out - but only one,". "Avoid at all costs those comfortable old T-shirts you've kept for years for special occasions. Leave it at home, you're probably the only one who likes it!"

Treat her like a princess
Ok, maybe not to the point where you're laying your coat on the pavement so she doesn't ruin her new shoes walking through that puddle. But a little old-fashioned courtesy can go a long way. "These days, there aren't many knights in shining armour left, so if you act like an old-fashioned gent it will almost always win you brownie points". A recent survey by Friends Reunited found 65 per cent of women were impressed by good manners on a first date - so get opening doors and pulling out chairs.

Talk the talk
You've got your outfit, venue and chair-pulling abilities sorted - but none of that is going to seal the deal unless you can talk to her without getting tongue tied. Good conversation will make her feel like you have chemistry, so make sure you have an idea of what to talk about beforehand. "The easiest way to make the conversation flows is to goldmine and listen,". "Find out what she loves, whether it's theatre, running, travel... once you hit this gold vein it can be an endless source of conversation. Just be interested, ask questions and listen!" Avoid any awkward silences by steering clear of sticky subjects such as previous relationships and favourite films - men and women often have different tastes, which can lead to conflict. The likelihood of finding someone who shares your passion for Transformers is slim, so save it for your second date.

Body language
Feeling relaxed may be easier said than done but there are a few tricks that will make you look cool as a cucumber - even if on the inside you're curled up on the floor, whimpering like a five year old. If you're feeling jittery, take a deep breath - it relaxes you, and lowers the tone of your voice making you sound more confident. "Make sure you make lots of eye contact with your date, people who make eye contact are perceived to be more confident,". Pull your stomach in, square your shoulders, lift up your chest and uncross arms and legs for more open look.

Who pays?
If you've got the hang of the ‘old-fashioned courtesy' by now, it can be tempting to insist on paying - but be wary, you could come across as controlling if you don't let her pay her way if she wants to. When the bill arrives, casually suggest that you pick up the tab- and wait for her reaction. Either way, avoid splitting the bill if you can help it. "Better safe than sorry," . "In one survey, 61 per cent of women found that sharing the bill can sour the date." If she wants to pay, let her but insist you pick up the bill on the next date.

Get ready for round two
You should be able to judge by this point if she's up for a repeat performance, so bite the bullet and ask. "The best way to ask her out again is to close the deal right there and then," . "Make sure you plan ahead and have ideas for your next date - when things are winding-up make some suggestions and get it locked in. This takes a little bit of extra effort, but saves the endless muddle of leaving messages, sending texts and coordinating diaries when you are both busy." This also removes the dreaded post-date-who-will-text-first waiting game.

Pucker up
If you're angling for a bit of lip action at the end of the date, be careful - twice as many men to women go in for a kiss at the end of a first date, so you've got a 50/50 chance of her puckering up or a slap in the face. Read her body language to weight up if the odds are stacked in your favour. "Lean straight in towards her lips, but stop about 6 inches away,". "If she turns her cheek, give her a peck. If she moves her lips towards you, go for a passionate good night kiss."

Post-date procedure
Even if you've followed step eight to the letter, there's still an art to post-date contact - too soon, and you look desperate, too long and you run the risk of becoming a hate figure for her best friends. A survey showed that nearly one in three women don't bother calling after a date as they expect the man to do it - so man up and get in touch. "You can text within 24 hours, just send something light and fun,".

"With calling, one day is too keen, three days is just right, and four days or more you are being cold and sending the message you aren't interested." The key word there is calling - research showed that those people looking for true love are more likely to call than text - 67 per cent of those looking for long-term relationships will call their date, proving it really is good to talk.