Online dating is a fast growing social networking tool that can open your world to a myriad of relationship possibilities.

Meeting someone new is challenging, especially if you have recently moved, graduated from college, or gone through a divorce. Here are quick tips appropriate for anyone trying their hand at online dating.


1. Know thyself

Are you looking to just spend some time entertaining yourself in chat rooms? Looking for someone to hang out with on the weekends? Seeking a one night stand? Trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right? Determine your goals for online dating and stick to them - otherwise you might hurt the feelings of others or find yourself scraping up the pieces of another failed relationship.

2. Use your network

Online dating sites and chat rooms are standard tools for people of all walks of life looking for love or a little fun. Ask your friends what sites have worked for them in the past. Trust the opinions of those you already know rather than choosing a service at random.

3. Start slow

There is no need to rush into taking the next step with online dating. Spend as much time in the chat room or talking on the phone as you want - make sure you're ready to meet face-to-face to create a good experience for the both of you.

4. Be totally honest

If you want a successful online dating experience, then be truthful. Don't lead people on, and show self respect by disclosing things that are honest. It can be tempting and easy to embellish online, but this does not bode well for the relationship - whether casual or serious.

5. Prioritize your preferences

Online dating can be daunting since it allows you to search through millions of potential matches. Try to limit the number of people you contact and respond to at first. If you focus on just a few people, sincere relationships can be established and nurtured.

6. Don't believe everything you see or read

If he or she sounds too good to be true, it's very possible that you're looking at a bad egg. Take your time getting to know someone. Check their story. If you have arrived to the point where personal information has been revealed, there are ways you can verify details. If a person claims they work at the local community college, you can check the phone directory for their name. Public record is a valuable resource!

7. Remember courtesy in the chat room

Just because you are in a chat room does not mean you should say everything you think or feel. Stop and consider - if this person was sitting across from you in a restaurant, would you say the same thing you just typed? If your words would be uncomfortable in person, then think of something else to say.

8. Online dating services are a good investment

It is a good idea to invest in you! There are many online dating services that charge a membership fee. Considering that people who are willing to pay for a service might be more serious about who they are and what they want - leading to better relationships.

9. Be available

Don't have access to the internet everyday? This might cause problems in the online dating world. Those who try this method of socialization like to think they'll receive quick responses. Be available, consider setting aside a specific time to spend in the chat room, and respond to emails in a timely fashion. Otherwise, you might find your potentials losing interest.

10. Protect yourself

When you've gathered your confidence and found somebody you want to meet face-to-face, remember that you don't know what to expect. Meet in a public place. Drive your own car so that you can maintain control of your environment, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Even if the first date leads to a second, or third, keep in mind that you've only just met, and there is no need to rush.

Last year Thomas Enraght-Moony the Ceo of Match told the Times Online, "There are 93m single people in America - only 3m use online dating services." Those numbers have grown considerably since last year but not anywhere near ninety three million.


But no matter how you look at it, life is good right now for the online dating industry. By the end of this year internet dating is projected to gross over one billion dollars in revenue.

So it seems kind of strange that so many people report having no luck when it comes to meeting someone in cyberspace. There could be a myriad of reasons for this but key make or break element that can determine success is the profile photo. Sure the words you write may be beautifully written and totally heartfelt but like the old saying goes a picture is worth a thousand words.

So to increase your chances of success here are some suggestions to help with your overall internet dating strategy.

1. Dress Up

No you don't have to put on clothes that make you look like you just stepped out of some glossy fashion magazine (although it would not hurt your chances any) but don't look to be so down to earth in your approach that you come off looking slovenly. The whole point is you are trying to make a good and lasting impression so dress accordingly.

2. No Brooding

Yes it's a given that you are trying to keep it real. You have never been a phony so putting up a photo showing you with a fake smile is not your style. Besides if your online dating prospects are the "real deal" they will like and respect what they see.

Maybe they will. More than likely they won't. Unless you are a rap artist trying to sell your latest CD or a direct descendant of James Dean, go ahead and post a photo of you smiling.

You are not in a bad mood all the time are you? If so then the last thing you should be getting into is online dating. Worried about it looking insincere? Then think of some things that make you happy just before the picture is taken. It's not necessary to have all thirty two teeth showing to make a nice impression. A pleasant genuine smile can work wonders.

3. Who's Da Haps?

Okay, you're looking good. You are dressed sharply without over doing it and the smile on your face is sincere without looking like an advertisement for the American Dental Society. Now take that photo with you in your element; surrounded by some good looking people of the opposite sex.

Hold it. This is one of those common mistakes that you see over and over again when it comes to online dating photos. It's not a problem if you are on social networking sites but for internet dating it sends out a couple of messages:

- We got a player here

- If they have got it like that why are they doing online dating?

They maybe just friends or an ex but whoever they are get rid of that picture and take a new one with only you. This is not a group personal ad. If you want to show a picture of you with your favorite pet then so be it. But the only human that should be in the picture is you.

Sure online dating should be easy. After all the abundance of people you have to choose from is unmatched by anything in the offline world. But like anything in this world, to succeed you must have the right approach. Improving your online photo is one way to do just that.

Though this might not be a problem with some but it might pose to be a big problem for many. There is an easy way to do this without it being tough on you or the other person. Follow the following tips.



Don't just offer a generic invitation

'Want to go out with me sometime?' Of course the both of you wanna go out. After all who doesn’t get fed up of monotony! Try avoiding such Rhetorical questions! It makes it really hard for someone to say no. Which you might think is a good thing--but it's not. It sets you up for an evening with someone who doesn't want to be there, who's kicking themselves for not having figured out a way to say no nicely and who might have actually been psyched to date you if only you'd gotten to know them a little first without all the pressure.

Thus DO NOT presume that the other person wants to go out with you. It might just be the other way around hence don't create an awkward situation for you and of course for the other person.

Always ask someone out for a specific thing.

Make it easy on yourself also by making the rendezvous in such a way that you were going to do it anyways. After all natural mannerism always works. Probably because we have seen so many clichés in the world that its only natural for human beings to feel a lot more comfortable to get natural. Like inviting him/her to your house warming party or B'day party or any other party. Another suggestion would be to put all your cards on the table.

Its best if you draw clarity visions before you get to unduly assumptions. Its better to make the most of the situation or else, you might land up making up one. Another good method of invitation would be to invite him/her to some get-together or picnic. This has two benefits; first, you won't be a nervous wreck asking someone out this way.

After all you could be asking them to come along out of friendship. Second, they can say yes, or they can say, 'Sorry, I already have plans, without it being a whole issue. This way you will ensure that you are not embarrassed and also make you know the person a bit more.

Speaking a bit more on this, although it might feel awkward at first to speak to him/her in a crowded place so your initial jitters are also done away with and once you both get used to the noise outside, it would at least help you to get to a more silent zone. Most of the times these zones a re wee bit far away from where you exactly are. So while moving to another seat that time could be utilized to gauge the other’s personality, make yourself a lot more comfortable and also reduce the overall anxiety.

Remember never ask more than once. If the person says no, they say and mean a ‘no’! (Unless they made it clear that they genuinely had a previous commitment and would have been otherwise interested: 'Wow, I love watching Brad Pitt movie and want to be first on your list the next time you get tickets.')

All and all remember given any situation and given any amount of enthusiasm, just go ahead with it, with a firm head on your shoulders. Although this may sound like rocket science at the time of asking, with butterflies roaming around in your stomach; go ahead with some sort of balance.

In Asia, there is no wall dividing sex, dating, marriage and $$-money. Girls are raised in this culture to look at these things together, as one, without the need to separate them out like we do in the west. An attractive girl will likely find a rich husband.

Sexual market value and attractiveness are seen in terms of money. In Asia, this is not seen as a bad thing, or with any judgment. We cannot judge Asian people for mixing love and money so loosely if we are to find happiness here. I prefer to think of it as a more honest and open approach. So don't be surprised if your beloved 'teerak' decides to leave you because you don't have enough money. It is not necessarily that she doesn't love you, just that love and money are not distinguished so clearly here like they are in the west.



The second part of this is to understand that Thai people view westerners as being rich. We will get charged more money for the same services and goods, because the common perception is that we have more money than the Thai people. So even if you are like me, and don't have much money, you will be perceived as rich, and expected to pay and help out, and it is likely, as said before, that a girl might leave you if you don't soon show some ability to generate affluence. I know of situations where the girl was even in love with a guy, but here parents would not allow her to marry him because he did not have enough money or a good job.

Back to rule number one; she will of course listen to and follow her parents first, and 'dump the chump' so to speak in a 'Bangkok second'! It can be a harsh reality here. In this culture you cannot be expecting much success in finding a good wife if you have limited sexual market value (money). That is the cold hard reality. Now we all know of many worthless Thai guys that are 100% supported by the hard working and loyal wife. They spend the days drinking and gambling and whoring, not working, while the wife or girlfriend works to give him money, Strange but quite true. This will not happen with western men. We are farang-foreigners, and as farang are perceived to be rich, a Thai girl would lose face by having a farang boyfriend or husband that was down on his luck so to speak.

Farang are often a status symbol for Thai girls and they are proud to take you back to the village and show you off. Show off the ATM fish they have landed and how they now live the good life. If you cannot play this role and need to pinch every Baht, then your prospects will be limited and short term. In Thailand, it is expected that the man is ready (has $) to have a girlfriend or wife or he shouldn't be trying to date. As I said before, every girl is unique and different. I have had some success with Thai girls while living here while I was dirt poor. They will sometimes be happy to go eat 'street noodles' (15-25 Baht) with you every day, but this is the exception, not the rule and I am sure the parents would not approve and would want their daughter to be dating a man with more money. It is the same situation as in the west or the world for that matter, just a more honest and 'in your face' way of dealing with it.

These two points are the biggies, the short 'must know' list for dating a Thai girl. There are countless other cultural and perceptual differences that can be challenging in day to day life with your teerak (darling), but in my opinion they are less important and generally not 'show stoppers'. In fact, many of these differences you will find to be quite nice. Thai ladies can often be the most attentive and caring mates you will ever meet. In this country, Thai men live like Kings in their house. Thai girls are taught to take care of a man, and groomed from an early age on how to cook, and clean, and fold shirts, and really take care and keep the husband happy.

A few examples I can think of from my previous girlfriends are things like nail clipping or zit popping on your back, or massages. I can't imagine how impossible it would be to get the common American girl to cut your finger and toenails for you, much less pop the zits on your back! I did not know what to say when a former Thai girlfriend started doing these things for me. How many western ladies in this generation actually cook and clean and take of their man? No, they want a maid, or you should cook for them, or take them out to dinner. Not in Thailand, many ladies I have dated were very anxious to show me that they can cook, and when they visit your apartment they will naturally start to clean it up for you and fold your clothes.

I remember a few years ago, walking into the bathroom one morning feeling all groggy from sleep. I walked up to the bathroom sink and started to reach for my toothbrush and noticed it already had toothpaste on it! My teerak had prepared my toothbrush for me so when I woke up it was waiting for me to use. Try to get the common bitchy feminist western girl to do that one. I dare ya! I will stand back a safe distance and watch! No, Thai girls are very smart, they know they will get what they want by being nice, feminine, and taking care of their mans needs.

So I wholeheartedly encourage you to take the plunge and experience what it is like dating a good Thai girl. I would strongly suggest not trying to make a common bargirl into a loyal wife when there are so many nice girls that are dying to meet a good farang man. It is simply not worth the hassle and heartaches, why add more problems to what can already be a challenging situation. So, keep your preconceptions, western ideals, and judgments in check, take a dose of patience, and keep an open mind and I am sure you will not regret it. The ride may be a little bumpy here and there, but it is worth the price of admission.

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