Erotic massage or sensuous massage is the use of massage techniques to achieve or enhance sexual arousal. Massages have been used for medical purposes for a very long time. Its use for erotic purposes also has a long history.


Today it is used by some couples on occasions as part of lovemaking, either as foreplay or as the final sex act. Erotic massages typically feature massages in erogenous zones of the body to increase sexual arousal.

In the Western medical tradition genital massage of a woman to orgasm by a physician or midwife was a standard treatment for female hysteria, an ailment considered common and chronic in women.

In 1653, Pieter van Foreest advised the technique of genital massage for a disease called "womb disease" to bring the woman into "hysterical paroxysm". Such cases were quite profitable for physicians, since the patients were at no risk of death, but needed constant treatment.

However, the vaginal massage procedure (generally referred to as 'pelvic massage') was tedious and time consuming for physicians. The technique was difficult for a physician to master and could take hours to achieve "hysterical paroxysm."

Referral to midwives, which had been common practice, meant a loss of business for the physician, and at times husbands were asked to assist.

A solution was the invention of massage devices, which shortened treatment from hours to minutes, removing the need for midwives and increasing a physician’s treatment capacity.

Already at the turn of the century, hydrotherapy devices were available at Bath, and by the mid-19th century, they were popular at many high-profile bathing resorts across Europe and in America.

By 1870, a clockwork-driven vibrator was available for physicians. In 1873, the first electromechanical vibrator was used at an asylum in France for the treatment of hysteria.

Frottage, more commonly known as dry humping, is the act of achieving sexual pleasure with a partner or partners, whether naked or clothed, without penetration. This can include using almost every part of the body, including the buttocks, the breasts, abdomen, thighs, feet, hands, legs, and sexual organs.

Frottage can include mutual genital rubbing, sometimes called genito-genital or GG rubbing and most of the other forms of non-penetrative sex.

There are many reasons a couple may choose frottage. The most common reasons are as a form of foreplay before intercourse or as a method to achieve sexual gratification without the more sexually explicit (and in some circumstances, forbidden) oral, vaginal or anal sexual intercourse.

Often young people will use frottage as an earlier stage of sexual intimacy before more explicit contact is desired, or as a substitute to intercourse to maintain a higher degree of chastity. Also, frottage can be done without getting undressed.

Panties, bras, pantyhose, socks, or stockings can aid in sexual arousal and stimulation. Lap dances often involve clothed frottage. A modern dancing style which involves partners rubbing their clothed bodies on one another is called "grinding," "freaking," or "Sandwich dancing" and is known in the Spanish speaking territories as "perrear" ("dogging").

This term came from Puerto Rico and later became the famous dance for reggaeton. The term frottage derives from the French verb frotter, "to rub."

Mutual masturbation is a sexual act where two or more people stimulate themselves or one another sexually, usually with the hands. This may be done in situations where the participants do not feel ready, physically able, it is socially appropriate, or simply do not wish to have full sexual intercourse, but still wish to have a mutual sexual act.

It is also done as part of the full repertoire of sexual intercourse, where it may be used as an interlude, a form of foreplay or simply as an alternative activity to penetration.

For some, it is the primary sexual activity of choice above all others because it enables the individuals to see face to face and leaves the hands free to caress.

Mutual masturbation can be practiced by those of all sexual orientations. If used as an alternative to penile-vaginal penetration, the aim may be to preserve virginity or to prevent pregnancy. Some may choose it because it achieves sexual satisfaction without actual sex, possibly seeing it as an alternative to casual sex.

The techniques of mutual masturbation resemble those of simple masturbation, with the exception that other persons are involved. The range of participation can be as simple as two participants masturbating in the same room at the same time without any physical contact to a group of people all stimulating one another.

In the case of two participants, one partner may stimulate the other, each partner may stimulate the other, or one may stimulate both themselves and their partner. Mutual masturbation might result in one or more of the partners achieving orgasm.

If no bodily fluids are exchanged (as is common), mutual masturbation is a form of safer sex, and greatly reduces the risk of transmission of sexual diseases. As such it was encouraged among gay men by some safer sex organizations in the wake of the AIDS outbreak of the 1980s, as an alternative to anal or oral sex.

The terms "mutual masturbation" and "circle jerk" are sometimes also used as vulgar
metaphors. They can refer to a situation, often in the workplace, politics or academia, where people are stroking each other's ego without producing anything of value.

Partnered manual genital stroking to reach orgasm and expanded orgasm are practices done with a partner. Both people focus on creating and experiencing an orgasm in one person. Typically in this safe sex partnered masturbation practice, one person lies down, pantless, while his or her partner sits alongside.

The one partner sitting using their hands and fingers (typically with a lubricant) to slowly stroke the clitoris or penis and genitals of the partner. Expanded orgasm as a mutual masturbation technique is said to create orgasm experiences more intense and extensive than what can be described as, or included in the definition of, a regular orgasm.

It includes a range of sensations that include orgasms that are full-bodied, and orgasms that last from a few minutes to many hours.The term was coined in 1995 by Dr. Patricia Taylor.

Non-penetrative sex (also known as outercourse, dry sex, and dry humping) is sexual activity without vaginal, anal, or oral penetration, as opposed to intercourse, anal sex, or oral sex (which may or may not be penetrative).


The terms mutual masturbation and frottage are also used, but with slightly different emphases. NPS and outercourse are rather new terms, which is why such practices are sometimes still called "intercourse".

The term "outercourse" is something of a misnomer, as it contrasts "outer" with "inter" but the "inter" in "intercourse" means "between two people". It does not describe being inside or outside of the body.

It is less likely that bodily fluids will be exchanged, and so outercourse is often considered a practice of safer sex, as well as of birth control . Outercourse in preparation for intercourse can form part of foreplay.

• Axillary intercourse (slang: bagpiping, in reference to the underarm manner in which bagpipes are played; "directing traffic", or "pit-wank", a variant of the term "tit-wank") is a sexual variant where the penis is inserted in the other person's armpit.

• Erotic massage, rubbing all over, with or without oil. May be intensified when combined with deep breathing.

• Handjob, stimulating the penis with the hand.

• Footjob, stimulating genitals with the feet.Frot, penile rubbing.

• Intercrural sex, also known as interfemoral intercourse, which is a type of irrumation, where one partner places a phallic object or penis between the other partner's thighs.

• Intergluteal sex, which is a type of irrumation, where one partner places a phallic object or penis into the other partner's buttock cleavage or gluteal cleft.

• Mammary intercourse, when one partner rubs a phallic object or penis between the partner's breasts.

• Oral stimulation of nipples.

• Sumata, type of stimulation of male genitals popular in Japanese brothels.

• Tribadism, vulval-vulval rubbing, also known as "scissoring.

• Virtual sex, mutual masturbation at a distance with the aid of technology.

Many women pass their entire married life without even once experiencing orgasm and complete satisfaction during sex. Most end up as nags, develop problems like migraines or have extramarital affairs, and obsessive indulging in masturbation.


Some can also become severely depressed, develop suicidal tendencies, have violent outbursts and even severe forms of psychoneurosis. Imagine the frustration of the woman whose sexual energy has started its journey at the beginning of the sexual act, and is suddenly left 'high and dry', as the energy is not allowed to complete its journey.

On conducting a survey, it was found that a significant percentage of men and even women felt that any position besides the 'missionary position' amounted to indecent sex indulged only by prostitutes or nymphomaniacs.

Surprisingly, the majority of the male population seemed to talk of sex as a 'male domain', and the woman as a 'passive' partner who allowed the man sexual gratification. A significantly small percentage spoke about sexual needs, preferences and fantasies of the female partner.

In the Kamasutra by Vatsayana, the different asanas (postures) recommended ensure that the woman plays an 'active' part in the sexual act, without which she cannot experience complete sexual satisfaction.

In addition, as compared to the man, the woman takes longer to get aroused, needs to be touched, fondled, caressed as per her needs and fantasies. And once she is aroused fully, if she is allowed to actively move in a way that she desires stimulating her sensitive areas, she can climax with or even before her partner.

COMMUNICATE YOUR FANTASIES

Many women think about their sex life in the right direction and in the right proportion, but find themselves completely at a loss when it comes to 'doing' something about it. "How can my husband and I love each other so much, yet have such a dull and unexciting sex life?" asked a friend who is herself a clinical psychologist.

Had she discussed the problem with her husband, a gynaecologist, to whom she has been married for over 11 years? "I seem to be able to talk to him about everything but our sex life," she said at last. "I don't know how to tell him what I desire without seeming critical."

Women of all educational levels and life experiences, voice similar sentiments. Most married people lack basic information about their spouse's sexual preferences. The informal survey of 70 wives found a myriad of fantasies they wanted to share with their husbands. But, as one woman told me, "It is difficult to know how to begin."

To revitalise your sexual relationship too, 'communication' is critical. It isn't the amount or quality of sexual relations that makes or breaks marriage, but rather the degree of "fit" between partners' sexual needs, fantasies and priorities. Such mutuality comes only with communication.

Try to define for yourself and your spouse what your complaints and pleasures are. Many people are uncomfortable and shy about making specific requests, but open talk and experimentation are vital.

No one can automatically know what pleases another, without adequate feedback. Love does not make one a mind reader, but instead, love is trusting each other enough, to ask openly and answer honestly.

The 'Hypothalamus' is a small portion of our brain where sexual desires arise in men as well as in women. Sex is primarily a 'cerebral' phenomenon and not genital.

The genitals simply execute the commands of our brain. This makes it clear that sexual arousal, the ability to enjoy sex and even the climax are primarily governed by our brain.

Fantasies, preferences, turn-ons, likes and dislikes in sex are predominantly functions of our brain. If this is so, then physiologically, men as well as women have an equal ability to generate varied sexual desires and fantasies.

Unfortunately, women have been culturally far more inhibited in their sexual expression in the past. Today's woman, however is becoming more and more aware about her own sexuality, her fantasies and her equal participation in sex.

BEING LEFT WANTING

"She nags me during the day and complains of a migraine at night. We haven't had intimate contact with each other since months now. I am frustrated and there seems no end in sight. I love her but she says that I don't care for her. What should I do?" said a young married man.

During counselling, the wife burst into tears and said, "He just uses me when he wants sex; he doesn't love me." Further probing revealed that she had normal sexual urges and had several encounters with her husband after their marriage. But as time passed, her angry outbursts increased and so also her nagging her husband and calling him selfish.

With her nocturnal migraines becoming a daily affair, there would be no possibility of intimacy. She admitted that though he was caring and concerned about her, she was unexplainably angry with him most of the time; in fact, she felt more so, and sad and confused after every sexual act.

Apparently, her husband would invariably take the lead, act impatiently during foreplay, penetrate much before she was fully aroused and ready, always perform intercourse in a missionary position (man on top) and finish the act in seconds. It never occurred to him that she may have different ideas of love-making, may prefer taking the lead sometimes, would like to be an 'active' partner during the act and would prefer some other positions too.

Once the couple discussed their mutual likes and dislikes, fantasies and preferences, the importance of mutually pleasurable foreplay, various possible settings during love-making, discovering each other's erogenous zones, things changed for the better.

Most men are alike. When some aren’t, they are considered feminine, and yet there are others who first fall in the category of being great and then to the not-so-great category. Whatever do I mean? Well lets start from the beginning.

Most men believe that they are the most important species that we women are dealing with. Sure they may be great with numbers, especially with telephone numbers of some great leggy females, they are still their stages of infancy when it comes to feelings.

Most men are visually stimulated, they have to see everything to understand and believe. From a really great pair of legs to an adequately pleasing bosom.

A woman needs to be stroked and felt, while a man has already been stroked by his mere vision. He doesn’t need to purr, her just speaks his mind and sees it. This is perhaps the reason why men seem to get aroused much faster than women would. Most men love to be ahead of everything, be it career or sex.

If they cannot find themselves to get on to the top of it all, they lose interest. Most of the times, a man challenges himself into believing that he can be the best lover and although he may not vibe with the feelings of the heart, he does pursue the issue only because he knows that he can get his woman laid, in this manner.

Another shortcoming that he might face as compared to women is that men cannot understand images. They are trained in the physical aspects of life, which may range from making tree houses to even making their own homes. They cannot imagine that most of the planning can be done in advance so as to make their own lives easier a little later.

Women are genetically inclined to literary arts and poetry, which makes them the "feeling" people. People who can understand, feel and more importantly visualize. It is no wonder then that most women can partake in the mass appreciation of pornographic stories and pictures.

Men only use these as objects to get a massive turn on, again a visual aspect and not related to imagery. Most men prefer to have the light on, perhaps a little dim too as the thrill to watch a woman naked is perhaps unmatched to any other in the world. Women almost always need to have the light off.

Sex …. A physical need!

Sex is always a physical game for most men. During my survey of wild sex I encountered ninety four percent of men seeking sex in the animated form. For them sex need not prescribe to the notion of being loved. Yes love is a part of it, not the heart of it. Sex was always a beast-like affair. One that involved huge fight-like encounter, with both partners wanting for more.

This is so because for them, sex is only sex and nothing more. Its more like a pornographic movie, the more the better. Most of them understand the huge importance of drugs used to virtually increase sexual stimulation that can last for hours together, without any breaks. One man was hugely candid about saying that sex was more of a release of tension, of tensed nerves as it were, so the more release the better. The frequency of sex also mattered.

They did not quite understand the need for arousal or foreplay, as their typical need for foreplay usually spans around for 5-7 minutes, after which the real action needed to be turned on, as if a switch for releasing the mass of tension locked behind the sexual organs. Another gentle man made it rather clear that it was most important for men to experience the first bout of sex with a virgin.

The blood dripping out of a woman’s vagina was an experience he felt should be appreciated and tasted by all. The colour red was so sexually stimulating he noted that even though he might for a time believe that it might be painful for the lady, its lure was unmatched to any thing else in the world. Phew, quite ravenous, what say?